7 Signs You’re A People Pleaser And How To Break Free
This post is a series of tweets written by Dr. Nicole LePera. All creative content goes to Dr. Nicole LePera.
Twittter Handle @Theholisticpsyc
7 Signs You’re A People Pleaser:
You believe that if you upset someone, you're a bad person or have done something wrong.
You tolerate behavior that is hurtful and tell yourself people don't mean it.
In social situations, you struggle to be present and are more focused on making sure everyone likes you or is comfortable.
You regularly apologize even if you didn't cause the issue (ex: someone bumps into you at a store and you say "oh I'm sorry" or someone yells at you and you apologize for making them mad)
You struggle to say no and often give long explanations to relieve your own guilt.
The thought of saying "No, I'm not comfortable with that" makes you cringe and brings up fear.
You often feel resentment or like your relationships don't have equal energy exchanges (you're giving more than you receive.)
“People pleasing is a conditioned behavior that we learn as children. ”
How To Break Free From People Pleasing:
Boundaries are your own limits that teach people what we will and will not accept.
Get comfortable disappointing people: disappointment is part of life, and we may disappoint people. That's ok, and doesn't mean we are wrong or bad.
Notice your patterns of over-explaining or over-apologizing: this is an anxious habit response that we use to try to soothe our sense of guilt. Ironically, it actually brings up anxious in other people. Short answers will help you feel more confident.
Unlearn self sacrifice as a badge of honor: culture glorifies self sacrifice and idealizes the idea that putting others first makes us a good person. In reality, if we don't meet our own needs we can't be there for other people in the ways we want to.
Be kind to yourself: people pleasers tend to be quite hard on themselves. Creating a healthy relationship with yourself means speaking yourself in kind ways, honoring that you have good intentions, and knowing its ok to *please yourself,* too.
